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Chavista jokes

Chavista jokes

Chávez, Fidel Castro ... are exceptional protagonists of political jokes around the world. There are favorable and unfavorable ones for his image, the truth is that Chávez and his Chavista jokes are great protagonists of political humor in Venezuela and more and more parts of the world.

A man named Celestino walks along the beach, he bumps into Aladdin's lamp; rub until the genie appears and says:
- I love for having liberated you I am going to grant a wish ..
Celestino excitedly tells him:
- I want you to resurrect my mother ..
the genie responds:
- I love that, it is impossible, much problem, you have to talk to San Pedro, get the baptism certificate, the death certificate, the birth certificate, no! no! no! "impossible" .. ask me for another wish ..
Celestino resigned:
- Well, I want you to remove Chavez from power ..
and the genie says:
- Better go looking for your mother's birth certificate.


Hugo Chavez arrives at Banco Provincial to change a check:
- Good morning Miss, will you do me the favor of cashing this check?
- With pleasure Sir, will you allow me your identification?
- Miss, I do not bring identification but I am Hugo Chavez Frias, president of Venezuela.
- Yes Sir, but you must show me an identification, for example, your identity card with photo.
- Miss, I don't bring identification but ask whoever you want, I'm Hugo Chavez, please !!
- I'm sorry, sir, but these are bank rules. You need to show me your identification.
- Well, I don't bring Miss and I urgently need to change this check.
- Look Sir, what we can do is the following: the other day Andres Galarraga came with the same problem, he did not bring identification and to prove that it was him, they took out a bat, he hit several home runs and thus he verified that he was really the great cat. Antonio Esparragoza also came and did not bring his ID, so he took a few rounds with the tellers and knocked out two and thus proved to us that he was actually Antonio Esparragoza. Then you can do the same. Do something to prove that you are Hugo Chavez.
Chavez thinks for a long time and says ...
- Mmm, gosh miss, the truth is that I can only think of pure bullshit.
- Perfect Mr. Chavez !!!, What do you want your check to change in bills?


Chavez at a press conference informs that he will resign as president on the recommendations of Mr. Clinton. "
Why, Mr. President, are you leaving us? "
"The position that they offer me is worldwide, Consultant in the Middle East." In this way Venezuela will be represented worldwide and we will make the Bolivarian Movement known to Arabs, Turks, Israelis, Kurds, etc. "
"Excellent Mr. President but wait ... you have a call from Mr. Clinton" - "Hello Hugo?"
- "If it is me, Hugo Chavez, head of the Bolivarian Movement, leader of this Republic of glorious proceres, makers of ...
- "I know, I know all of that, but I hear that you say I send you to the Middle East"
- Yes Bill, as you told me, I will go as "Middle East Advisor" of your world politics.
- "No, you chorlito, I tell you to send you an advisor so that you can be in the Middle East !!!!


Hugo Chávez went to visit a 4th grade class. grade of an elementary school. His arrival came during a discussion about the words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to participate in the discussion about the meaning of the word "tragedy." The enlightened leader then asked the class for an example of "tragedy."
A little boy stood up and said: - "If a friend of mine is playing in the street and is hit by a car, that is a tragedy." - "No," said Chávez. "That would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand and said: - "If a school bus runs off a cliff, killing all its occupants, that would be a tragedy." - "I'm afraid not," said the President. "We could call that a big loss."
Silence grew in the classroom. No other student dared to give an answer. Chávez urged them to continue, saying: - "Isn't there anyone who can give me an example of what a tragedy is? Finally, in the back of the class, a little boy raised his hand and with a very soft voice, encouraged to say: - "If the presidential plane is transporting the President and the entire Cabinet and a missile destroys it, smashing it, that would be a tragedy."
- "Fantastic", said Chávez. "That's very good. And could you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
- "Yes" said the boy. "Because, firstly, it wouldn't be an accident and secondly, it wouldn't be a great loss either."

Video: Así reaccionó Maduro ante la crítica de una líder comunal chavista (September 2020).